Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
