is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
What a dumb baby whore.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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