I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
