my mouth tastes like poor choices
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
