this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
