He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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