kristin has been a bad kristin
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
