i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
