just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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