Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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