Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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