I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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