Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
