I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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