there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
