dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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