the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
