I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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