Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
