big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
