I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
