the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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