Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Reggie can tackle my bush.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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