He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
