doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize