I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Randomize
