Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
