im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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