We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
