I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This is my gift to your gina
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
