i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
