i don't like sucking hair
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
