It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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