i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
