You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
