Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
They took my balls.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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