Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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