It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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