I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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