Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
