we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
