Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
