so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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