Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
