I could make wine with my vomit
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
