I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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