Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize