if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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