I love black thongs
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
