Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
