He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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