I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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