I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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