who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize