exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
