my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
