if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
