She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
