One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
