Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
