He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
