You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
