you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
