I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
