i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
