At least make sure they are 18
Why
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
